Chapter 3
Back at home, I
showered and went downstairs to find my mom but she wasn’t there. I opened the fridge to fix a quick sandwich
before leaving. On the fridge door I
find a note that says “Not going to be home, have business to handle. There’s
barbeque chicken in the oven. Love mom.” Hm. That was weird, ma was never off
schedule; her routine was pretty much set in stone. I shrugged it off and fixed
me a bowl of chicken to take to work.
By the time I
got to work I had to say a prayer for strength before going in because I was
really getting tired of working this job.
I mean it was income but what good is a McDonald’s check when you have a
fistful of bills to pay. Sighing I remove myself from work and go to clock in.
At the side door where we go to take breaks I saw two figures looking all lovey
dovey, but I kept going. Twenty minutes later, Keno pops up and shoots me an
awkward side eye. I wondered what that was about but as usual, I let it go. I
had a long night full of bitching customers to worry about.
Nine o clock
finally arrived and I couldn’t have been more relieved. With sore feet and a pounding headache I make
my way to clock out and get in my car to leave. Arriving at my car there was a female there
seemingly waiting on me. I put my hand
inside my purse to feel for my mace just in case this was an attack. I wasn’t overreacting; in this area people are
known for getting assaulted not only at night but in broad daylight as well. “Janae?” she questions. “Yea, who the hell are you?” “No need to be rude baby girl, I need to talk
to you. I see you’re confused so I’ll just keep talking. Straight up, I know you and Keno got ya’ll lil
thing or whatever but I thought you should be the first to know that we been
messing around. It hasn’t been that long
but I just found out that I’m pregnant. He
been told me that he was leaving you for me so we could start our family but I
see he never went through with it, seeing as you was coming to his house
earlier when I was leaving. I’m not
telling you this out of spite because the way I feel right now, its fuck him
and I can raise my baby alone.”
God, is this a
joke? I bust out laughing clearly
bewildered and taken aback by the news. For
a moment I forgot that this unknown girl was there and in that moment, I took
the opportunity to partially lose my mind. Gathering myself I looked at her and I said
surprisingly calm, “you……you and Keno, if that’s what you want then you can
have him. If he wants you he can have
you. Please move away from my vehicle.” With pursed lips she waltzed away and I got in
my car and cried like a baby. I let
everything go. Banging my head against
the steering wheel I felt my whole world collapsing around me. So many emotions and nothing to do about it. I was at the end of my rope and I was finally
okay with that.
I had no one to
turn to. The guy I loved cheated on me
and got another chic pregnant, my best friend is somewhere on her knees sucking
dick for twenty dollars and my ma, she just disappeared. I was exhausted and my eyes were swollen from
the continuous crying. Before I knew it,
I had fallen asleep in my car still at my job.
Awakening hours
later, I was startled that it was nearly three thirty in the morning. I was emotionally spent and my mind was running
because I wanted to confront him but another part of me was saying walk away. My phone was dead and I didn’t have my car
charger so I drove to the trap house to get me a dime bag from my supplier. Luckily the weed men around here are actually
about a dollar and can be found almost anywhere, no matter the time. I decided to go to the boathouse and smoke
alone before heading home and passing out again.
Chapter 4
I slept in late
the next day being that classes were cancelled and I didn’t have to work. Getting out of bed I plugged my phone up and
was met with thirty plus messages from Keno. Ugh, I do not feel like dealing with him! He made his bed and I was going to make him
lie in it. Some of the messages were pleading me to talk to him and others were
accusing me of being out with someone else. My guess was she told him that she was going
to tell me and he flipped out. I was determined to remain stress free today so
I ignored him and decided to hit up Jas. I hadn’t heard from her since that night at
the boathouse.
She picked up
on the second ring sounding groggy. “Sorry,
did I wake you.” “Naw you good, I was
just getting up anyway. What’s good
stranger?” I chuckled sensing the
distance that had come between us. Since
she started this new “job” I barely heard from her or seen her at school. The friend in me wanted to stop by her house a
few times but she never answered the phone when I was on the way. “Yeah, I guess we both been busy. I miss you
though.” “I miss you too Nae, what are
you doing today because I have a little free time before I have to go in.” We agreed to meet up at her house and have a
day to ourselves.
I arrived at
her crib and went in without knocking. The
place was a mess! Dishes piled up in the
sink, clothes hanging out of the dryer and a horrible stench coming from the
bathroom. I was appalled, Jasmone’s mom
would never go for this. Speaking of, I
wondered where she was. I heard Jas
scuffling around upstairs and I went up to meet her. If downstairs was any indication or alert of
what I had yet to see upstairs, I didn’t see it coming. The shock must’ve been plain as day on my face
because she said, “excuse the mess, I’m hardly ever here and when I do it’s
never for long so I don’t get a chance to clean up good.” I didn’t respond but cleared away a spot on
the bed and sat down.
“So what’s been
good girl? You still running behind Keno
sorry ass?” Attempting to hold back the tears that had welled up in the corner
of my eyes I said softly “we’re done”. “WHAT!?”
she shrieked. “Oh my goodness Janae why
didn’t you call me? What happened?”
Keeping my response short to remain as strong as possible I replied, “it just
wasn’t meant to be, there was someone else.” Understanding that I didn’t want to talk about
the situation any further, she backed down and changed the subject. We gossiped about school, work and a bunch of
other bullshit. I found myself smiling and
not thinking about Keno. That was one
reason why Jas had always been a good friend. She had the ability to make you forget all
about your problems and her smile made you feel so warm.
But I couldn’t
help but notice that my friend had lost weight. She was never a bad size but she had
definitely slimmed down and her eyes looked tired and weak. I didn’t say anything but I kept a mental note
to bring it up at a later time. Jas had
received a call and she had to go. We
hugged and I went my way.
With no
boyfriend, no work and no class I had nowhere else to be so I went home and
climbed back in my bed. My mind was full
of mess and I just took the time out to pray and wish for it all to go away. Music in my ears I drifted off to sleep and
into a place where nothing mattered and nothing existed; my own utopia.
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