Chapter 1
It is eighty
seven degrees and I am at band practice about to fall out. Our choreographer
has made us do this same routine over and over, and I am sick of these girls
not getting it right. I mean, what is so hard about twirling and not dropping
your flag. Every time someone dropped their flag we had to redo it from the
top. Needless to say when five thirty hit I was racing off of the field to get
home.
“Well hello to
you too Janae”, my mom said as I rushed straight into the house and headed up
the stairs to my room. Here we go, I don’t know why she is always wanting to
have a conversation after practice. I am beyond tired and sweaty, plus I have
to study for this midterm in economics tomorrow. Rolling my eyes I turn on my
heels to go see what she wants. “Hey ma, how was your day?” “Let’s see, I had
visitors attempting to smuggle narcotics in to their friends; one of my
officers was fired for having sexual relations with an inmate and I got chewed
out by my superior for forgetting to sign off on a report. I’d say it went
well.” We both burst out laughing.
After chatting
with ma for a few minutes longer I took to the stairs to shower and get
prepared to crack open my principles of economics textbook. My head was buried
in the chapters discussing incentives, supply and demand, and market
competition. Hours passed of making flashcards, rereading past lectures and
highlighting notes. Looking at the clock through droopy eyes I saw that it was
nearly eleven thirty. Grabbing my phone that I had purposely placed away from
me to avoid distractions, I saw that I had five missed calls and a couple of
texts. The calls were from Jasmone, my best friend. Opening up the unread text
messages, unsurprisingly I saw that they too were from her. One simply read
“boathouse ten o clock”. Shit! I had forgotten all about this impromptu meeting
she had told me about before practice earlier that day. Clicking reply I send
back “sorry meet me now, leaving home as I write”. Throwing on a sweat suit I
jog downstairs grabbing the keys to my two thousand and one champagne Honda
accord. It took me about fifteen minutes to get to the boathouse.
The boathouse
wasn’t an actual boathouse like what you see in the movies where the boathouse
is sitting on a pretty lake of water with nice boats on the inside. Our spot
was an old shed on abandoned property with a couple of worn rowboats inside.
This is where we came to get away from the stress of college and home life; it
is also where we chilled and got high. When I pulled up I killed my lights
seeing that she was already there. Jas stayed closer to the place than I did
and she was the one that found it. Walking around to the back entrance, I went
in and saw her kicked back in one of the boats already blazing. “Whats up, you
ignoring me now?” She immediately pounced on me letting me have it for not
responding to any of her efforts to get in contact with me. “Bitch chill you
know it won’t nothing like that”, I reassured her. “Pass me the blunt”. After
hitting it a couple of times I found myself relaxing and forgetting all about
anything that had been getting on my fucking nerves. Inhale the good shit and
exhale the bullshit. That was our motto here.
We remained
silent for what seemed like an eternity, allowing the peacefulness of our
environment and the herbs to consume us and take us wherever. Jas was the first
to break the silence. “Nae, you know this shit getting old right”. I looked at
her trying to figure out what she was trying to say. Without waiting for me to
say something back she continued “I don’t know about you but I’m tired of
struggling ma. Think about it, both of our moms’ aint hitting on shit by their
selves right now. There has to be something better out here man but all we get
to see is the ugly.” Listening to what she was saying I began wondering what
place this was coming from. Normally she was cool and laid back but tonight
something seemed to weigh on her mind. Whatever the reason, I had to agree and
say she was right.
Both of our
mothers are single parents living in the fifth ward of New Orleans, barely
keeping their heads above water. Jas and I both attended Loyola University
without the help of our parents which means we were basically drowning
ourselves in debt to get through school at seventeen thousand dollars in
tuition per semester. The only financial assistance we had was a minority and
band scholarship. Our fathers were practically nonexistent. Her dad bailed out
on them when she was thirteen because his fiancé moved him away to North
Carolina and he was never heard from again. On the other hand, my dad still
resided in the NO but he wasn’t any good to himself let alone me or my mother.
Heroine sucked him right up so my mom put him right out. Even if he was still
around, I wouldn’t want anything to do with him.
“Nae, Nae are
you even listening to me”. I was snapped out of my inner thoughts when I heard
Jasmone angrily calling my name. “Yeah I hear you, you just making me think
about some things”. Calming down she responded “well good, because we have to
do something. We have to find a way out of this hell we are living in and I
have an idea”. Raising my eyebrow I wondered what it could be. “Go ahead”, I
said encouraging her to continue and enlighten me. “I know this chick outside
of school who says she can get us put on a good gig. I know you might not be
down but she works for a madam and she making that bread Nae. I’m talking at
least eight hundred a night and that’s after paying her dues.” I must have
caught her off guard by the laughing because she stopped talking and looked at
me with a grave look on her face. I thought I was tripping because I was blowed
out of my mind. I know she didn’t say madam! The laughing ceased when I looked
at her good and saw that her expression was serious and unchanging. “Jas! Are
you serious? You want us to go be professional hos? Jas say something because
this doesn’t sound like you.”
“Nae baby, what
do we have to lose?! We stay in the shittiest part of New Orleans and yeah we
may be in college but hell, we barely in there because it’s hard to pay for.
I’m tired of working these dead end fast food jobs hardly making minimum wage.
My mama lights got cut off tonight and that shit woke me up. I’m done tussling
with poverty. I deserve better. We deserve better.” She kept her eyes focused
on me, nearly crying. I was taken aback by this proposition. My mind was slowly
registering that what Jas was feeling was real and I know Jas. I know once she
has her mind set on something she is going to do it. My only problem was
falling in line with this plan. Could I lower my self-worth and live like that?
“Look you my
girl and everything, but whether you say yes or no, my mind is already made up.
I have to get this money the best way that I know how. I’m just trying to be a
friend and put you up on game because the bottom is crowded and I’m trying to
be at the top where there is room to breathe.” Still thinking to myself I told
her “and you’re my girl too but I can’t Jas. I just can’t. The job I have is
going to have to get me through.” Shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders
she got up to leave and she did so without saying goodbye. I remained at the
boathouse until she had left then I left behind her. The drive home seemed so
long and my mind was racing a million miles a minute. I tried to shake off the
conversation we just had and the thoughts that followed. Turning up the radio
on 93.3 and pressing the gas, I sped home.
CHAPTER 2
The next
morning I was awakened by the sound of Lil Boosie rapping Mind of a Maniac.
That was my song and my alarm on my phone waking me up for class. Looking at
the time I cursed the sleeping Gods for letting me miss my first alarm and
oversleeping. I hurriedly jumped out of the bed and took a bird bath and got
dressed. By the time I reached campus and found a park close to Miller Hall I
was already ten minutes late for my final. Literally running up the stairs and
through the wooden double doors, I was out of breath by the time I reached the
lecture room. Professor Gregg pursed his lips at me looking upset and motioned
for me to come to the front of the room. All heads were buried in the test
booklet paying me no attention. When I reached the front of the room he handed
me my test and motioned for me to sit by the window, I silently mouthed sorry
and did as I was told.
Settled into my
seat I ripped open the test and went to work. As I worked my way through the questions
I found it to be quite easy. Thank God I studied! When I finished I was the
last of three students to complete the test and turn it in. I turned to walk
away but Gregg called me into his office on the other side of the room. “Sit,
please”, he said to me upon entering his office. I sat upright on the edge of
the leather chair and waited for him to speak which wasn’t long after he
finished sorting through papers. “Ms. Janae Simmons, I wanted to speak with you
about a pressing matter. While I am pleased with your work ethic and impressive
workmanship in this course, I must say your absences and tardiness are quite
numerous. Now I have been working with you but we are getting close to finals
and you need to be here.” Processing this information I told him, “Professor
Gregg, I know I haven’t been here as much as you or I would like me to be but I
work and have five other classes to attend. It is extremely difficult for me to
be here on time or all the time.” “Ms. Simmons we all have other things to do but
it is your responsibility to be here. Now I have worked with you this long but
I can’t do it anymore. This is college and sometimes sacrifices have to be
made. Starting next class session, I expect you to be here and on time”. Giving
up this miniature debate I agreed and left his office.
Departing from
the building I stopped for a moment on the steps just to take a minute to
breathe. Life was becoming overwhelming and I had no source or outlet to vent.
Heading to my car I remembered I had a clip saved from last nights’ toking
session in the ashtray. Since my windows were tinted I sat right there in my
parking spot and lit my herbs. It wasn’t much but I got my peace from that
piece. I had an hour or so before I had to clock in at work so I picked up my phone
and dialed Kenos’ number. Keno was a guy I met when I first started working at
McDonalds. He was my trainer and that is how we formed our relationship….no our
friendship. What we called ourselves was confusing and it was the main problem
between us.
The phone rang
a couple of times before he decided to pick up. “Damn, took you long enough to
answer”. “Man chill, what you doing”. “Shit, sitting in my car with nothing to
do”. “Well, slide through because I aint doing nothing either.” “Aite be there
in twenty”. “F’sho”. Throwing my phone in the passenger seat I backed out of
the parking spot and hit I-10.
Traveling
almost 5 miles I finally arrived to Peppertree Apartments. This place is a
gated community with one bedroom suites. Keno stayed here because of his
parents help. They chose to let him have his own apartment and help him with
bills as long as he worked. The lifestyle that he lived they didn’t approve of
and didn’t want in their home. Even though he worked, Keno was a small time
drug dealer who sold marijuana and varieties of pills. I pulled into the guest
parking spot for his apartment and walked up the door. Although we were
somewhat beyond friends I still give him the courtesy of knocking instead of
waltzing into his place. “Hey sexy, took you long enough”. “Ha-ha”, I chuckled
“keep trying to be funny clown”. “Shut up and bring your ass here”. Obeying I
went and straddled him on the couch and gave him a kiss. I missed him and I
planned on showing him just how much. His hands slipped under my knee length
sundress and rubbed my thighs. Lifting me up with one arm and freeing his
member with the other, I gasped as he slid me down his length. I don’t care how
many times we have sex, it still feels like the first time we had ever done it.
Holding on to his legs with his hands on my ass I bounce up and down giving him
the ride of his life. Flexing my inner muscles, I throw my head back relishing
in the moment. He loved when I did that because I hear him moan. “Shit baby,
ride your fucking dick”. He just added fuel to the fire. He grabbed my waist as
I bucked like a horse giving him something to feel. I sped up feeling him swell
up about to bust. I screamed and fell forward onto his chest as we came
together. “You keep fucking me like that I’m going to have to marry you”. I
laughed lightly and whispered in his ear “maybe that’s what I want”.
After refreshing
we laid back on the couch and cuddled watching the Scandal marathon on BET.
This was just what I needed. Keno was a gentleman and I loved it but he could
also be a monster. I remember about four months after we started talking I came
to his apartment unannounced and upon me entering I saw a girl leaving. I
angrily questioned him and in turned got slapped. He later apologized and said
it would never happen again. I stayed with him despite that and he hasn’t hit
me since but he still has the ability to hurt me with words. I try to dismiss
it believing that he truly loves me and only speaks to me like that when he is
upset. I never told anyone because I knew if I told Jasmone she would have went
postal on him and I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with her or my
relationship with him. It was soon time for us to go to work so I left to go
home and get dressed leaving him behind.
